Grieving at Christmas

It is hard any time of the year going through grief, but times like Christmas where there is this expectation for you to be happy is the hardest. There will be many families this year that are grieving at Christmas, so here are my experiences in how I have dealt with it and will be dealing with it this Christmas.

Switch Things Up

It is always good for a change of routine and a refresh. This is so you are in some ways distracted by the new little changes you are incorporate in your day. This could be something like, having a new person round or coming up with new traditions. It is not in order to forget the person you are grieving but it is, so you have a somewhat good day without them.

Be Sad but also be Happy

It is okay to feel sad that you cannot spend time with them at Christmas but also be mindful of the happy memories surrounding that person with Christmas. You are allowed to think about them and be a bit sad. However, to make you feel a bit happier, try to think about what they would have thought about that day. Crying is okay too! Although, it does not need to be tears of sorrow but tears of happy memories. Remember, just because they are not there does not mean they would not want you to enjoy your day.

Try not to Block them Out

I understand that you might want to be distracted on Christmas day, so you do not have to think about them, but it is good to talk about them with other people feeling the same way as you. Try and share Christmas memories of them. In my family we always seem to mention how my Grandad would without fail knock a bauble off the tree every Christmas. In some ways by talking about them, we are still letting them be a part of our special day.

It Only Gets Easier

The first Christmas is the hardest. I remember when my Grandad had passed away and we had Christmas with just my Grandma. It was really hard for us all. However, it was still a good day where we all came together as a family and had a Christmas full of love. This will be my first Christmas without my Grandma and as a family we are all keeping it together quite well. It will be a hard day, but I think because we know that she would be angry at us if we had a sad day.

Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, presents and delicious food but it is also about love. It is about sharing a full day of your precious time and giving that to all those people that you love. So, if you have lost someone then this Christmas will be hard but remember that you will get through this and the Christmas might be a little easier.