Good Grief!
- Leah Cox
- Nov 13, 2020
- 2 min read
Grieving is a very difficult subject. No one likes to talk about it, and no one wants to go through it. Unfortunately, we all have to. It is inevitable in life that we are going to come across death. This is what makes our lives and relationships so precious as we have no idea when it will all end. This piece is to show how grieving does not have to be a struggle and should be talked about.
Everyone's Grief is Different
No one will experience mourning in the same way. You will not grieve in the same way for different deaths. I live in a family of five and when my Granddad and Grandma died, I saw five completely different versions of grief. I was the crier, overcome with emotion, whereas other people got angry and needed to release some steam. Someone else may need counselling, whereas another might want to distance themselves from grief. There is not a correct way to mourn so do not feel like you are grieving in the 'wrong' way; if you see someone mourning, do not compare it to your own.
It Is Okay to Be Happy as Well as Sad
In some cases, we are grieving someone who has not died yet. This can mean that when they do pass away, we almost get a sense of relief. This is okay. You are not a horrible person because you are relieved they are dead. You are happy for them because they are now at peace as you have seen them in agony for so long.
Allow Yourself to Heal
It is hard when you are surrounded by people who are also grieving the same person. At times you feel bad for being upset when someone else needs your support. This does not mean that you cannot be upset. If you suppress your emotions because you feel like you need to be someone's support system, then the pain of the grief will build up inside of you. Let yourself have that healing time.
It Comes in Waves
Grief for a loved one never goes; it just gets easier. Vicki Harrison says "Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn how to swim." Think about the happy memories and the advice they would give you now if you are feeling overwhelmed with grief. Whenever I feel sad about my grandparents, the song that was played at my Grandad's funeral comes to my mind. - Don't Worry Be Happy (Bobby McFerrin).
We need to be more open about our grief. Everyone will experience it so there is no need to go through that pain on your own. If you need professional help, I have linked some bereavement and grief websites below.
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